Read Page Ten

Yes, there is such a thing.

Tonight, I am back from the gym and not pleased. Here is my Top Ten List of things not to do while in the gym:

-Don't click the dumbbells at the top of a dumbbell bench press. It's not cool. It's stupid. It annoys The heck out of others!.

-Don't drop the weights. Like one pro once told me, "If you can't put the weight down gently, it's too much weight for you." Besides, it's dangerous. And it annoys The heck out of others!.

-Don't talk on the cell phone, non-stop, in a loud voice. You're there to work out. It's stupid. And, it annoys The heck out of others!

-Don't BS with your buddy or talk up the pretty girl on the treadmill. You're they're to work out. Plus, it annoys ... well, you get the idea.

-Don't leave the weights on the floor. Put back the weights where you found them. The heck out of others! is annoyed when he trips over a stray 25 pound plate.

-Don't groan, yell or scream unless there's more than 400 pounds on the bar. Got that rookie? unless you just want some sexy attentions.

-Don't talk to me in the middle of a set. I'm in the middle of doing something, that if distracted, could give me a hernia, an irritated lumbar disc or a trip to the 16th Precinct on a menacing charge.

-Don't bring a towel and leave your greasy hair stains on the bench or your sweat all over the bar.

-Don't rotate your shoulders on a dumbbell or barbell shrug. That's the way they taught that exercise 40 years ago. It's not cool. It's outdated. It annoys ... you know.

Finally. Number 10. Don't sit on the equipment between sets. Someone (like The heck out of others!) may want to "work in" on a busy night. Stretch. Walk around to stay warm. Don't just sit there like you own the equipment.

To gym rats, young and old, the gym is our temple. Be nice. Keep it clean. Keep it productive. And if you do, you won't have to be on the receiving end of some old, crazy guy's evil eye.