Read Page Ten

Two months. Two long months since I posted. Two months since I also developed a legit reason to take a blogging break. If you are a friend or family you probably already know, but since I feel accountable to my blog I wanted to post it here: we're expecting. Hooray.

So instead of posting here, I have had my head in the toilet. That is a pretty good reason for an extended blogging absence, right?

Now, I don't want to use this blog to vent (that's what facebook is for, right?) but I have to say that I was seriously misled as to how awesome pregnancy was supposed to be. So far I have experienced absolutely none of those magical "I'm pregnant and glowing and thrilled and carrying a miracle" moments. Zero. Actually, almost from the moment that I found out that Gary knocked me up (I got a positive home pregnancy test at 5 weeks) I have been horribly sick. That little blue line made its debut the morning of my first in-class final. The next day I had 2 more finals and that was the exact day that I started throwing up.

Who does that?!! Who gets sick like a week after conception?!!

I spent one of my finals making mad dashes for the restroom in between writing essays.
I spent another final hoovering crackers and powerade to keep the vomit at bay.

And from that point things got nasty. I spent the second half of December hurling every time I got in the car, every time I smelled old cooking smells (scrambled eggs were and are the worst), and any time someone around me burped. Christmas was puke-tastic. New Years we had tickets to see Joel McHale (my hero) but I only made it a third of the way to the venue before my husband had to drop me off at my in-law's where I spent the night trying not to throw up on their floor while I planted myself in to a recliner. I spent one morning in urgent care (my OB sent me there suspecting I was dehydrated) and after they gave me a NASTY shot of phenergin, I spent the next 18 hours passed out and drooling in bed (yowza that stuff is strong!)

I tried ginger, I tried peppermint tea, I tried sea bands, I tried sour candies, I tried eating before I got out of bed in the morning, I tried "breathing through it" (something a lab tech suggested while I was having blood drawn), I feel like I have tried it ALL. The only thing I haven't tried is acupuncture, but I'm not ruling it out as a possible treatment. I've been on Zofran for a month and a half, and I've had a handy Zofran pump for the last 5 weeks (the pills alone weren't cutting it.) I signed up for school hoping the pump would help, but I've had an awful time getting there since being in the car seems to amplify my yak-reflex. I've missed plans with my friends, outings with my husband, and family functions including two that included Gary's estranged sister. I lost 12 pounds in two weeks so they put me on an iv drip to get some fluids in me. My baby has rejected Dr. Pepper, strawberries, Filibertos carne asada burritos, chocolate and anything fried (basically all things that are happy and good.)

I really hate being pregnant. Don't get me wrong; this was a planned pregnancy, we do WANT kids, and I'm sure that once the screaming little monster is in my arms then it will be worth this whole hellish experience. But this kid is doing very little to endear itself to me.

We have heard the heartbeat, which was cool in a "huh, there's a heartbeat in that thing" kind of way, but neither of us have had the magical "ah-ha" moment where it hits me that there is a BABY in there.

So. There's the scoop. Lesson learned: don't get pregnant. Gary has assured me that we never have to do this again. We were already planning on adopting a child, so we will just forge ahead with that plan when we decide it is time to add to the family again. Or we will get another dog.

I'll try and post again this weekend with the few projects we were able to finish before we found out we were expecting. Being with child has really put a cramp on my DIY projects since I can't work with paints or stains or varnishes and the like. BUT we are trying to forge ahead and Gary is just having to pick up the slack while I take on a more directorial role. Good thing I am naturally inclined to be bossy.

I know, I've been on a blogging hiatus. Unfortunately I don't have any good reason, other then I feel like nothing of consequence is going on in my life. I go to school Monday through Thursday by 7:00 a.m., yes seven, and also Tuesday and Thursday from 11:00 to 12:20. (fun lunch uh?!) I'm still working 40 hours a week. Naturally that doesn't leave much time to do other fun things... I wish I had something oh so excited to blog about, but alas I do not. So, I will blog about the boring things going on in my life. The real life, the not so glamorous things in everyday life. Now no one can complain about how boring their life is....


-Money has been tight lately! And by tight I mean, tighter then a fat person in spandex! I think I've made it through my biggest expenses, but I'm incredibly depressed every time I look at my account. I think I need to seriously revisit a budget, and pray that I'll win the lottery.

-I feel so blessed to have work right now, not only work, but a job that I really do enjoy. Things aren't perfect there, and there is one thing that could make it better, but I choose to ignore the Village Idiot most days.

-Yesterday Verizon Wireless sent me over the edge, I did something I've never done. I called the customer service department and vented my frustration. I know I can be an outspoken person, but when I'm upset I have a hard time getting myself to say something. So it felt oh so good to say something yesterday! Good job Brooke.

-I feel like I live alone right now, which makes me sad, but I'm grateful I have a house. Actually in general I feel quite alone. I feel like I'm in need of a special someone, wither that means a best friend or a boyfriend. It's ok though, I'm praying for someone and I'll take whatever I'm given. I know prayers are answered.

-I love the pink, red, and hearts that are every where right now, not because I like Valentine's day, but because it signifies my day of birth! In case you didn't know I L-O-V-E my birthday... I just need something to do now.

-Haiti.... breaks my little heart.

-I've decided that I'm quite a sass. Not because of my attitude, but because of my clothes. Judge me if you'd like for being self confident, maybe even a tad arrogant, but I decided this week I really like my clothes. It's joy in the simple things in life right?

-Math is a real struggle this semester... the fact that's it's at 7am doesn't help, but I think my teacher is 101 years old. I concentrate so much on the fact that he is still living that I tend to not absorb the information being presented. Moving on to English there are so REAL characters in there. I think 90% of my class decided to try college out the day class started. Which kind of makes me mad. I had to take a placement test to get into English 1010, I didn't score high enough so I had to take Writing 990. How did these crazies place into that class!? BOO!

-I did something brave, three weeks ago. I finally told Kason I couldn't be even a friend to him anymore. It's so hard letting go of people who have met so much to you. Kason was my first real love and moving on has been a task. Sometimes to move forward we have to be willing to let go 100%. I wish him nothing but the best in life.

-I feel very grateful for my friends. Life has taken us all in very different ways, and it's incredible to me how close most of us have stayed. We've lost one, but I think it's been her loss not ours.

-Anyone has Haggerman's sugar cookies!? Yum-e!

-I recently found a quote that I really like, nay love, "We are only as happy as we make up our minds to be." Abe Lincoln.

-I'm terribly self conscious of my spelling. I've never been to good at it.

-Why is it that my bronzer, hairspray, and toothpaste all run out on the same day?! :(

This is it folks, all I have to offer!

Feel free to share or post this link on your blog as well.My oodles and oodles of supplies came from Dick Blick last week!! Ready to start on some new series just have to find the time. I hope this year I'll knock your socks off with new art.

Trying to freshen things up!! Speaking of that, remember everything but my new section in my Etsy and ArtFire shops are 40% off! Yes everything, till it's all gone!One last thing, my little newsletter I had started last year that I have 20 subscribers to now, yeah that's one of the things going bye bye since I can't remember to update that. So you heard it from me first, my blog will be my updating hub.

If I have news I'll share it here and also on my FB fan page (link is on the right) If you're on FB that's updated often.Ok so this is a PS - I am sooooo excited to share and show you my latest Bad Girl creation. It will go live next Monday 12AM PST. Be on the lookout for it, you won't want to miss it. Once that's posted it will be for sale as well. If you're interested when you see it let me know!That's it! Hope you have a fantabulous week!!

During the last couple of months, I began harboring this itch. And I know this itch. I‘ve scratched it before. It began at the exact place I’m sitting now; at the table nearest the trashcan in my favorite Barnes & Noble in Maryland. And, the more romanticized aspect of this whole affair is that I can almost positively state that it was exactly three years ago that I made the decision I’m currently set on reversing.I remember the “aha!” moment. I didn’t drive straight home and tell the ‘rents “look, come summer, I’m moving back to LA…hasta la vista”.

I kept it to myself, but spoke of it with certainty. I told random strangers, but never my closest friends. And here I am. Again. Sitting next to my very own version of the Bodhi Tree (which stinks of sugary Starbucks concoctions). And it almost feel reverential. I’m digging for a deeper meaning, when the pure reality of the situation is that I don’t like the “real life” I have in LA. It’s not the life I imagined three years ago. So, I’m re-imaging a life in DC; I’d land the perfect gig, meet awesome people, go to awesome places, and do awesome things.

And magically, I won’t be the person I am, but instead be the person I want to be.Moving is my short term, fuck-it-all solution. I do love LA. When I’m not there. When I’m not working. When it’s not sunny. And I hate DC. When I’m here. And when I’m working. And when it’s snowing. If I quit a well-paying, upwardly mobile gig that supplies me with enough dough to grocery shop at Whole Foods, afford my own pad, and buy useless techie toys, would it be stupid?

If I gave up and vagabonded cross country for a couple months, would it be crazy? Better yet, is it rational to wake up in the morning, dread my day? Week? Year? And repeat it over a lifetime? And is it absofuckinglutely insane, knowing that in three years time, I will likely reverse the reversal of my decision?

The war of words, fussin', feuding, B##$hing, moaning, grumbling, complaining, slamming, dogging, .......need I go on? It is not the way to win friends, influence people, or make sales. I know, some of you say oh yes it is! My list of fans, followers go up.
I finally get the person to listen to what I have to say. etc. Really? First of all yes, your friends list may go up with the drama lovers that have nothing else better to do than to watch the soap opera unfold. But the ones that carry value you will lose.Second, ARE the people you screaming at REALLY listening? Or are they just responding to your rant?I have seen forum rants, arguements on facebook, and Twitter Wars. I have seen Sellers slamming a site because they don't like a change or the support team can't fix a glitch in 5.2 seconds.

I have seen Musicians and Celebrities scream and cuss out others. I have witnessed customers slam sellers for not IMMEDIATELY responding to an email. It ALL amounts to bad business, no matter what business you are in.If you have a problem with someone, contact them directly, if you have an issue with a site, contact support. And be a little patient in waiting for a response or a fix of an glitch. Remember, once your words are 'out there' for the world to see, they Can grow legs and run.....Are your words running around the internet?? ...And what ARE they telling people about you??