Read Page Ten

Two months. Two long months since I posted. Two months since I also developed a legit reason to take a blogging break. If you are a friend or family you probably already know, but since I feel accountable to my blog I wanted to post it here: we're expecting. Hooray.

So instead of posting here, I have had my head in the toilet. That is a pretty good reason for an extended blogging absence, right?

Now, I don't want to use this blog to vent (that's what facebook is for, right?) but I have to say that I was seriously misled as to how awesome pregnancy was supposed to be. So far I have experienced absolutely none of those magical "I'm pregnant and glowing and thrilled and carrying a miracle" moments. Zero. Actually, almost from the moment that I found out that Gary knocked me up (I got a positive home pregnancy test at 5 weeks) I have been horribly sick. That little blue line made its debut the morning of my first in-class final. The next day I had 2 more finals and that was the exact day that I started throwing up.

Who does that?!! Who gets sick like a week after conception?!!

I spent one of my finals making mad dashes for the restroom in between writing essays.
I spent another final hoovering crackers and powerade to keep the vomit at bay.

And from that point things got nasty. I spent the second half of December hurling every time I got in the car, every time I smelled old cooking smells (scrambled eggs were and are the worst), and any time someone around me burped. Christmas was puke-tastic. New Years we had tickets to see Joel McHale (my hero) but I only made it a third of the way to the venue before my husband had to drop me off at my in-law's where I spent the night trying not to throw up on their floor while I planted myself in to a recliner. I spent one morning in urgent care (my OB sent me there suspecting I was dehydrated) and after they gave me a NASTY shot of phenergin, I spent the next 18 hours passed out and drooling in bed (yowza that stuff is strong!)

I tried ginger, I tried peppermint tea, I tried sea bands, I tried sour candies, I tried eating before I got out of bed in the morning, I tried "breathing through it" (something a lab tech suggested while I was having blood drawn), I feel like I have tried it ALL. The only thing I haven't tried is acupuncture, but I'm not ruling it out as a possible treatment. I've been on Zofran for a month and a half, and I've had a handy Zofran pump for the last 5 weeks (the pills alone weren't cutting it.) I signed up for school hoping the pump would help, but I've had an awful time getting there since being in the car seems to amplify my yak-reflex. I've missed plans with my friends, outings with my husband, and family functions including two that included Gary's estranged sister. I lost 12 pounds in two weeks so they put me on an iv drip to get some fluids in me. My baby has rejected Dr. Pepper, strawberries, Filibertos carne asada burritos, chocolate and anything fried (basically all things that are happy and good.)

I really hate being pregnant. Don't get me wrong; this was a planned pregnancy, we do WANT kids, and I'm sure that once the screaming little monster is in my arms then it will be worth this whole hellish experience. But this kid is doing very little to endear itself to me.

We have heard the heartbeat, which was cool in a "huh, there's a heartbeat in that thing" kind of way, but neither of us have had the magical "ah-ha" moment where it hits me that there is a BABY in there.

So. There's the scoop. Lesson learned: don't get pregnant. Gary has assured me that we never have to do this again. We were already planning on adopting a child, so we will just forge ahead with that plan when we decide it is time to add to the family again. Or we will get another dog.

I'll try and post again this weekend with the few projects we were able to finish before we found out we were expecting. Being with child has really put a cramp on my DIY projects since I can't work with paints or stains or varnishes and the like. BUT we are trying to forge ahead and Gary is just having to pick up the slack while I take on a more directorial role. Good thing I am naturally inclined to be bossy.